The Tank of Consumerism.

Unless you’ve been living under a lamp shade, you’ll have noticed our friendly recession. As it persues, obviously the grave of the gaming industry has been dug ever deeper. We seem to be in a direct collision course with a culture shock: we have to adapt to this. In true ‘me’ style, I haven’t bought a game for some time. However, when I go to purchase my lovely games I find holographs, shiny boxes, music tracks, figurines, novels, graphic novels, films, DLC, featurettes, chickens, geese, cereal, flowers, mugs, cupcakes, large pots filled with po-pari -

Yes.

Regardless of your opinion on storyline and thought, we’re becoming ever more pretentious, as consumerism arrives in a large tank to crush gaming as we know it. I appreciate feign attempts at remembering the classics; such as Google’s ‘Pac man’ exhibit, however I really feel gaming is absolutely being crushed. We’re on the brink of pretentious people taking a knife to graphic appreciation. I myself am a great believer in storyline, and use of simplicity. Games such as ‘Lost Planet 2′, in my opinion map a filthy concept to do with, strange beings and no explanation! In comparison, ‘Assassins Creed’ is creating compelling sticky grenades to combat the tank, and doing it incredibly well…as well!

Let’s Make Some Money.

If anyone’s still reading, read on! GTA4 on it’s own is worth over $500million, which says something about complementary goods! Although I believe this game’s DLCs and additions were brought out with great sincerity to GTA as a franchise, other games are silly billies! Gears of War has sold out to the max, selling rights to image use, and ensuring even bearded nuns in Calypso’s House of Plenty have seen their CONCEPT ART. In fact, all of you, personally email me and tell me if you’ve seen their concept art without chasing it: Social Experiments FTW!

On a serious note, this is for debate. I understand entirely that many people reading this will disagree with what i’m saying completely. We need to remember that debating will ensure we continue to get awesome games! However, as you’ll see as I continue, I also think that we’re becoming obsessed critics of games. Let’s read every bit of material around the game, and clear out ambiguoity completely! We buy Assassins Creed for the lovely mystery, as we try to predict what’s to come up. We buy Call of Duty just so we can scour around for clues about the next game. We bought those Kinder Eggs as kids because we had no idea what toy we’d get! Let’s get back to our roots!

Ask the nOObs!

Are you kidding? Wrapping your wounds with Pac Man?!

To prove my point, I decided to ask an ambitious game designer, hoping to go into gaming for a career, to see what he thought about the new culture of gaming:

As a game designer, do you think people are buying games for the game itself, or for the culture?

“What an hopeful question, not! As a smaller game designer, I can’t really comment on the massive franchises and culture that other game companies have experienced. However, I did do a bit of work experience with one such company, and found the halls draped with complementary goods. I was actually really annoyed at the lack of graphics and remembrance of the actual game play. I mean, there was like, no evidence of the technological advancements made, and the impression they had on gaming.”

The Evidence, Before the Court…

See? I have supporters! The growing band of Saving Private Ryan bridge smashes to stop the tank is actually massing on particular games. No I don’t mean the poxy protesters outside ‘Dante’s Inferno’ HQ, I mean the guys and gals’ reading this thinking ‘I want Mayonnaise AND Cheese! I want the Game AND the Novel!’

Come on world, lets come to a rounded compromise. Let’s collect wine bottles with the Bomberman logo imprinted on them, but let’s also play the games we were born to.

And that my friends, is my contribution, to Debate Week.

Tip: Use the Claw! It took me 20 minutes to master this arm!

So, we’re initially shown an integrity that certainly exceeds the NES original game (basically meaning it got spruced up abit), and we also have a good flavour of the original game. Unfortunately, GRIN need to stop ‘grinning’ over this. Combined with Capcom, I thought the game was a success when it was first released in 2008. Oh, how wrong I was. Personally, the game has good, and intentional speed, but when combined with complicated methodologies, and so. Many. Doors; the whole thing becomes a little hasty. The rearmed Nintendo game didn’t give me a chance to fully appreciate the graphical contrast betwixt (Whey, Shakespeare) Xbox and the old consoles. I was left feeling a little lost, as someone who never played the original – though my sources indicated it was a ruddy’ good game!

Some things have been left in, and some taken out. We are presented with an obvious Japanese classic, using long, elongated dialogues to try and eke out the doomed dimensions of a fairly bland story. All we care about is using a very cool metal claw to swing from object to object! As cynical as it may sound, I’d recommend buying this game if you have formed a political party firmly against games that entice you into becoming a completionist. Though retro is at hand to give us love and attention, I’m left feeling that GRIN have missed the point entirely: I bought this game to have some good old ‘NES’ fun; not to explore Spencer’s inner psyche.

All that said, there’s a platform at the end of the proverbial tunnel, my friends. BC:R includes a masterful music score, which really complements the retro-modern theme, very much like a mother in a mid-life crisis. In all, the multi player is pretty damn fun as well. Rather than trying to cram in all the twists and turns of a game like Myst, you feel simply fulfilled.

Though the game has a mind-boggling story, with a cupboard full of degree level English techniques, it has a great set of tunes, and a nicely rounded multi player. I’ll give it a healthy 3 out of 5.

[starreview tpl=16]

So, as the beta starts we’re met with a rather sublime and minimal navigation system, which I very much approve of. The mix of blues, combined with gravitational icons gives the initial impression that the beta will be rather cool, calm and collected…yeah…right.

Brrrrrrrrruuuuuummmm

As soon as you hit the multiplayer area, you find that your car choice is limited. Again, I love the simplicity of the intial stages. Though you’ll be rolling around the track in a compressed Ford for the first few games, the thing’s surprisingly nifty – so when your silly side starts going “Ooo! Shiny car with lots of bits!”, control yourself. Blur is very much an equal gaming experience, meaning although you may have a nicer and/or more reliable car, you can still win the game in terrible ones. Rather reminiscent of Modern Warfare or Halo, you progress via levels, gaining new cars, colours, and speedy bits along the way.

You cry: “What about the driving?!” Let’s just say, definitely not as an experienced driving gamer, the game is much easier to pick than, lets say, Forza Motorsport 3. There’s a much easier control system. Although you don’t feel like you’re out on the track, dealing with danger in real life, you still have a sense of full enjoyment, and the “I gotta’ get that guy!” factor. Along the way, you can access numerous power-ups to strengthen your ride, including a sudden burst of nitro, car repair, shots of purple crystals, exploding fireballs to hit the other cars, and a giant car bubble to stop you bashing into things. These power-ups appear on the rear of the car, and can be alternated, dropped, and selected using a relatively simple control system – although it will take you a few races to fully figure out how to initiate them. I have to say, nothing is more satisfying than firing a large red ball at cars in front, causing them to barrel roll, just like the matrix.

Yeah…the Matrix….Hey Smiths….Eat my Fireball…

The Power-ups included...

Anyway, the unique use of camera angles, and the infamous ‘wrecked’ screen really makes you focus on what your doing, and for me immersed me fully in the driving situation. I especially favour the 20 player races opposed to smaller ones, where you can well and truly blow the race out of proportion. When you make someone crash, you know it. When you crash, you know it. There’s always a rear-view mirror at the top of the screen, so you’re always aware of what else is happening in the race. The map’s support this by giving the player multiple routes to get to the finish line, and therefore you can make dramatic choices as to which cars you want to hunt, avoid, or beat. Although under no circumstance do you have to choose what’s right and wrong, your morality is tested through endurance. Do you take out that annoying 12 year old in front? Or you do you let him drive off, because he has a fireball and he’s preparing to get you?

Obviously the game will get so much better as it is worked on, and obviously this is required. Some elements in the beta cause cars to stack up in an odd fashion, and i’m not too keen on the car choosing system. If games were perfect in the beta, however, driving games such as Drift and Dirt wouldn’t be what they are today. I give the big, bold Blur Beta a good 4 stars out of 5. Join me on my XBL tag: Mortiraze – Perhaps we can have a spot of racing! Happy drifting gamers!

[starreview tpl=16]

"Snake?! Snake?! SNAAAAKE!" - "What?!" - "Do you understand this story?!"

Anyway, my point is that those who haven’t played the other games will simple not understand the fourth. Yes, Yes: so there are elements that make it feature as a stand-alone game. However, not even I can tell you the entire story without sitting down over some steaming food rations, an edible snake, and a guard uniform complete with AK47 that-I-ran-around-for-hours-on-end-trying-to-get-because-they’re-in-different-parts-of-the-Big-Shell-and-I-could-have-been-doing-something-important-like- killing-the-Metal-Gear-or-making-noodle-

I digress.

It’s such a rich and diverse story that it appears the series has perhaps gotten too rich. I have a similar issue with TV shows, like Lost or Heroes. I miss a few perhaps, and suddenly I’ve lost the entire plot. For example, without playing Metal Gear Solid 2, you’re clueless when it comes to playing 4, because the story line is cut by the third instalment (including “Portable Ops” for the PSP. Get it? Portable? Ha!) Having spoken to people about the fourth game, I understand that it retains all the elements of a Kojima game, but also adds tactical logic, such as the automatic camo-suit…thing. This simply pushes MGS further towards it’s purpose: to be real.

Unfortunately, for those who are at this moment playing Forza in a lovely little mini, thinking: “I need a change”, they’re simply not going to be able to access this game with such ease. I’m sure Konami will attempt to fill the player in, but I just can’t see the new-age fan being fully satisfied that they know the majority of the back story, without playing the other games. I mean, I know someone who played Gears of War 2 only, and they had no problem finding what had happened in the first game. For the moment, we shall see what comes out: those cheeky Japanese haven’t announced what exactly the storyline will entail yet. All we can do is hope and pray that people who just want to play the latest game, can do so without being completely baffled.

So, it’s Harry Potter, and it’s LEGO. Hoorah? Yes. Years 1-4 is offering an astounding amount of interaction, with no combat whatsoever! It turns out the new game is based on the events at the starry Hogwarts, with spells and so on, but with no real meaty violence. At first, I had a problem with this. The reason the HP films get better and better is due to the increase in maturity – should the games not follow this motif?

Let's Cast Some Spells!

Anyway, I then read more and found some of the little tit-bits in the game, that made me laugh out loud; even though i’m not a Potter fan myself. For example, at the end of the ‘Triwizard Tournament’, where Cedric Diggory appears dead, and leaves Harry deeply upset. In the LEGO games, Harry in fact is overwhelmed by the applause, kicks the body of Cedric to one side, and milks it! Other examples include the snitch coming out of Harry’s ear when he crashes into the Quidditch pitch, and Hagrid pulling flowers from his coat, rather than the Boy who Lived.

Okay, so the whole thing is a little childish, and follows the traditional gaming methodology when it comes to co-op and online play. However, I’d argue that this brings back the classic humour that we revelled in not 10 years ago. I take you back to some of the amazingly hilarious moments of Metal Gear Solid: Raiden being urinated on whilst on a short ledge, the character ‘Johnny’ in the third instalment having extreme constipation, and even moments in recent games, such as Assassins Creed 2, where you get the choice whether or not to give a passionate Da Vinci a hug.

So, my point this week gamers, is to strive for humour, and it looks like this new LEGO epic is set to bring about sofa laughs for families, chuckles for couples, and banter for friends. For what i’ve seen so far, I’ll give it 4 stars out of 5 based on it’s trailer humour so far – although I may have to do a comprehensive review of gameplay later. The spell-binding adventure comes out in May LEGO fans, and on consoles across the board. Enjoy!

[starreview tpl=16]

It’s true, the report focused on high street clothing, the new Home Office Commision, and men’s magazines. However, the short clip was still featured, which means they believe the gaming industry is inflicting damage on youth. As a sixteen year old, my darling mother bought me the game, and gave me sole responsibility for whatever appeared in the game, after making a fully logical decision as a parent.

The Scene in Question.

Alas! We’re missing a very small fact in all of this. The certificate says 18! Therefore, children will not be effected by any sexual images unless a) it is featured on the cover, b) they’re family, friends, or c) amazing game-playing Jack Russell’s that live in their house, and persuade them to play the first hour of the game. Speaking of the timing, the sexual scene only occurs for a very, very short amount of time, and so anyone who is at all influenced by seeing a pixellated pair of breasts for near on 30 seconds is boarder-line insane.
If you haven’t realised, I clearly object to this. The Commision calls for parental control to be built-in, and working on the purchase of any console: which is absolutely fine. However, to include a game with the richest of storyline’s is really quite pathetic – no matter how short and insignificant the report is. If any game should be included, it should be, in my personal view and experience, the ‘Playboy Mansion’ game for the older consoles. It seems to be the lewdest of games, and has no doubt been purchased to titivate, rather than provide a genuinely fulfilling. You can find the full report, including video featuring the clip, here.

What do you think? A sexual explicit, or pure gaming quality?

Now. Onto serious business.
‘Storked’ is an icy plat former, where you take on the roles of four friendly penguins, in an effort to get an egg into a basket.

Tony, the strong one, lifting a box to place delicately on a button.

It comes from Graduate Games, the cool dudes who are continuously bringing you great, yet simple and pure games, from the stylings that reflect an early SNES game…but with fish eating penguins.
Though it sounds dramatically simple, the player must switch between penguins in order to achieve the final goal. For example, ‘Murray’ has a snow ball throwing ability, and thus can switch switches, whereas ‘Milton’ is a techno-geek, and can utilise various gadgets such as the jet pack, diving suit, transporter, and egg bubble: for all your egg-protection needs. As three of the four cuddly companions lack jumping abilities, it’s challenging yet rewarding, forcing you to truly think about your path downward towards the basket. Something I found was the clever placement of ‘red herrings’ throughout, making me feel incredibly silly and oblivious when I found there was such a simple way all along.
To unlock further levels, you must complete a variety of tasks, from eating more fish, to running your little legs off whilst kicking an egg along some ice to get to the basket. Reminiscent of Sanka’s lucky egg from ‘Cool Runnings’, it was a dream come true learning that the egg was taking a pivotal role in this particular game. It’s a fantastic example of the home-grown gaming that’s coming back into fashion, with the ever-changing world of Retro gaming, Xbox Live Indie Games, and increasingly restored titles. For a mere cost, you could be challenged to a surprisingly complex plat former, unlike most I’ve seen.

Go forth readers, and waddle to your hearts content! Visit www.graduategames.com and then come back, to read last month’s interview with the top fellows themselves!

[starreview tpl=16]